Arrogance

I've been called a lot of "names" before, and a lot of them I'd like to think are not true because they are only half-truths at best and totally wrong at worst.  Yesterday at work, however, I was taken aback because my boss called me arrogant.  Yep, arrogant.  I'm still thinking about it because it stung...not necessarily a deep sting, but a surprising sting.  Like, you know when you itch all day from a little tiny red ant or something and it surprises you because you know that the little sucker has the capacity to sting, but you don't necessarily realize that it is possible for it to itch so badly for so long?  It was that kind of sting. 

Of course, I looked up the word because I thought that perhaps I misunderstood the full meaning of arrogant and thus, maybe I am arrogant without realizing it.  At the least I should know full well what word I'm so upset about.  No surprises were found in the dictionary: "arrogant (adj), having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities."  Well, one word rings true, which is exaggerated.  I do have a habit of exaggerating.  But...of exaggerating my own sense of my importance or abilities?  I just don't know about that.  I actually pretty much thrive on self-deprecation a lot.

So, now I turn to context to deconstruct this accusation.  I was called arrogant because I refused to participate in one particular exercise during a work retreat a few weeks ago.  It was a role play of meeting a donor and asking questions.  We were in a large group of 8+ people interviewing one supposed donor.  I said that "I do this every day, I don't really have anything to contribute to this."  I feel justified in that response since the whole premise of a retreat is to RETREAT -- to take a break, to withdraw from the day-to-day, to get some perspective.  It isn't, in fact, meant to beat a dead horse by having someone role play the very thing they do every single day.  I really think that perhaps it was insubordinate of me to say I wouldn't participate.  It was definitely undiplomatic...perhaps tactless.  But arrogant?  I really don't think so.  It's not like I looked around the room and said I'm too smart or talented to be here, I have a million dollar donor waiting to have coffee with me, so I can't participate in this activity.  I simply said, in my own tactless way, that I'm tired of doing this in real life, I definitely do not have the energy to do this in pretend work life.

Is that really so bad?  Why is my boss so cruel as to call me arrogant and hurl an accusation at me rather than perhaps ask me if I'm tired or if she can help freshen my perspective on my work?  Is it just me, or is this one of those ridiculous moments of workplace politics when an employee is bullied into making something her problem that really isn't even a problem at all?