Getting back into the swing...

One of the many obvious pitfalls of being over-stressed and over-committed for the past few years has been my ability for physical activity.  I've been trying to get back into the activities I used to enjoy (Boot Camp over the summer, Step Aerobics at the start of the semester, etc.) and nothing has stuck.  I'm still working on finding my exercise groove and am finally trying to get over the idea of getting back to my self of years ago and looking to the present to figure out what I want to be engaged in for physical activity NOW.

I've been biking around a lot with "sun of my life" and biking HOME from school (after taking the uber-convenient bike shuttle to campus)...and today, I've started in on a new trial period of biking up the 750 foot elevation incline from my house to campus.  I did it today, and it was ridiculously hard.  I had to walk my bike the final stretch up the hill as my quads could barely keep going...but I actually enjoyed it in the same way that I used to find running really difficult but worth it for the feeling afterward.  

It seems like in times of stress, my body has less energy to put out there and yet, that extreme level of exertion is exactly what I need when I am stressed.  That's an easy logical rational connection to make, but when you are stressed, that level of physical exhaustion is about the last thing I can convince myself to do!  So, it is important to keep balancing my personal interests and the commitment to doing things I enjoy with the fact that not giving myself the choice to say no is often what helps me to push myself in positive ways.  For example, I biked to campus this morning because I decided it wasn't an option to say I was too tired or whatever to do it.

Now that I am writing this I am seeing a big connection between the PhD program itself and high impact exercise.  I continue to keep in mind that I am here by choice and not because I have to be, but at the same time, by not letting myself make an easy exit when things get really tough (like they are right now) I can push my mind into new insights and learnings that I never conceived of before.