Moving Right Along

I've been basking in the glory of completing my master's degree for all of 24 hours.  And because life seems to be this way right now, a wrench got thrown into my celebration.  I found out yesterday that I have to move out of my place by the end of the month, which means I have to move once before I get up and move across the country at the end of the summer.  It's certainly something I'm going to be able to manage--I hope!--but it was definitely unexpected and the lack of feeling prepared for this is what is making it all so harrying.  Thank god I'm done with school!!!!!!

This is now the second time that sharing my exciting news of entering the PhD program at UC Santa Cruz has bitten me in the butt.  And bitten me hard.  The first time was sharing this news with my employer earlier in the year, which did not go over well at all and almost cost me my job.  Now, a casual "heads up" to my landlord when I saw her on campus last month has left me with the ultimatum of packing up the majority of my things and putting it in storage while letting strangers come through the apartment for open houses all summer or just moving everything into storage and moving in with my significant other (or couch surfing I suppose was another option).

I mean, I get it.  Well, I'm starting to get it anyway. I understand that business is business.  But I have really been surprised about the way that this information has been received by employer and landlord alike.  It's like without missing a beat, they are ready to throw me out.  No discussion, no negotiation, just a blunt use of the power that they hold over me.  I guess I've just never felt so disposable, and I must say that it is making it really very easy to feel ready to leave this city despite all of my friends here (who I know will visit me because I'm moving to a vacation destination, HELLO!  VISIT ME!).  I've paid my rent on time, painted the apartment and in general, made it look much better than it did when I first moved in...and this is the thanks I get for being reliable.  Same with my job.  We just closed out the fiscal year, and under my leadership of fundraising, the library raised 148% more money this year than last year (and years before).  No points for good work.  No points for taking good care of my apartment.  I suppose this is the consequence of me not being perceived as loyal to these people?

Dreaming of corporate job security and company loyalty has not really entered my imagination.  But I can't help that I've been thinking a lot about this NPR profile of the culture of Exxon Mobile ever since I heard it yesterday morning.  I'm not interesting in working in a place where I have to confess how many sticky notes end up at my house rather than my desk, but the "collective culture" is something I've never experienced in the workplace.  I can't help but wonder what it would be like to work in a place like that is so loyal to you that if you follow the rules, you are basically set for life.  

Being free of attachments is something I strive for from time-to-time, and so, as much as I hate moving, I typically find it a good time for renewal and re-evaluating my sense of what is necessary and what I hang on to even though it is weighing me down.  It gives me that needed push to lighten my load.  But the key about that kind of situation being therapeutic is being prepared for it.  Rready or not, here it comes.