Being a Human Being

Yesterday someone stopped by my desk to say thank you for something...and as he was struggling to explain what he was thanking me for he finally said "what I'm trying to say is thank you for being a human being."  What a strange thing to be thanked for.  I was kind of flattered and kind of shocked. I'm honored to be recognized for something that comes so easy to me...and yet, it made me extremely sad because it confirmed the inhumanity of my workplace. I divide my time between the library (which has its quirks but is relatively normal), and a department whose only business--really, our ONLY business--is managing human relationships. And yet, I stand out because I level with people on a human level. Always.

Today I got a phone call from the one person in this department who I've developed a close bond with to tell me that she is no longer working here. It turns out that after riding to work with her yesterday for the first time ever, she was told that her position was eliminated a mere 30 minutes after we arrived in the office. I'm so glad we actually exchanged phone numbers to coordinate the ride because otherwise I never would have seen her again.  She was told that it had nothing to do with her performance and that she wasn't being fired or anything like that, but then she was supervised as she put her things together and was escorted out of the building as if she had been fired. Nor was she ever told that her position was being reconsidered or anything like that. So, she is out of a job and as an older person is concerned about her ability to find another one.

I think--and have thought since about day one--that this place is crazy. And yet, it makes me so sad to be confirmed in this day after day. People complain about jobs being taken over by machines and robots, but what happens when jobs are taken over by real human beings who don't act like human beings? They aren't robots or machines, but they don't always act human...and what I mean by that is that they impose structural, bureaucratic, corporate rules over the human beings that work for them and make up the bureaucracy, corporation, etc. at the expense of their humanity.

My job is in tact today, but I really have no idea if I will really be able to leave it on my own terms at the end of the summer or if I will be let go sooner than that. I survived one attempt to fire me, which consisted of extremely ridiculous accusations of things I myself had not actually done...they were things done by other people that negatively affected me, but which should have made me a victim not a perpetrator, right? And I'm quite sure the ridiculousness of it is the only reason I survived the attack.

What's so disheartening to me about this whole situation is that this is a really mundane sort of abuse that the workplace engages in. It isn't egregious or perhaps material enough to be given much attention by Human Resources or to be called a crisis of any sort because it isn't bodily violence and there isn't material evidence like making people work obscene hours or something like that which can be tracked and evaluated. Instead, I've seen at least eight people disappear out of our office in the past 16 months since I've been in this position. From what I know from my own experience and from others, these people did good work and just didn't fit in and became an obstacle for agendas of people with more power.