The Frightening Power of Empathy

I've been captivated today with the FBI's report on Penn State and its handling of the Sandusky offenses.  I read the full grand jury brief when it came out, and I was captivated by that too because of the consistency in the events outlined in the brief and in the invisible power that was underscoring all of it.  

The problem with invisible power is, as you may guess, its invisibility.  Everyone knows it's there, but it is really hard to put your finger on it, clearly identify it, and what's worse, it is really hard to contain it and singularly point it out.  Because invisible power permeates our thinking, feeling, and acting.  It is often identifiable in hindsight, like we are able to see so painfully clearly in this report, but the problem is that it is really hard to see it at work as it is happening.  And when someone sees it, it is often a lonely place to be because people think you might be over exaggerating or misunderstanding/mischaracterizing a situation in some other way.  

This article outlines the role of empathy as a negative force that allowed people to minimize the violence that Sandusky was committing: "The Freeh Report, Jerry Sandusky, Empathy and Penn State."  

I have an example of how fiction can help us understand things about our world through their narratives that provide some objective distance from personal experience.  Octavia Butler's Parable series was a compelling focus for my thesis because she confronts empathy as a force that makes us act and react in ways that limit people's capacity to make fully-informed decisions because they are held in the grips of empathy and are forced into a mode of reaction rather than response.  

I wonder what it is that allowed these power players to react to Sandusky with empathy instead of reacting with horror?  Is it because they knew Sandusky as a person and they didn't know these young boys who they likely never met or even saw in person?  It seems to me that it has something to do with the relative anonymity of these young boys that allowed people to see them as abstract victims rather than real suffering beings.

Invisible does not only mean to not be seen, but also means to not be taken into consideration.  A person who sees and witnesses violence is far more likely to take that moment into consideration than someone who hears the witness tell the story of violence.  It is a complicated dilemma because, as we see very clearly in hindsight in this case, the most heinous actions needing justice are done in a space (like an empty locker room) and within a system (like a large bureaucracy) that ensures these acts will NOT be seen by anyone and that the few who do see it are not in a position to do a thing about it.  

I'm in a mood today...

for rocking out on the bassoon!  I haven't played at all since my ABOMINABLE audition with the AU orchestra in fall of 2010.  And I'm still playing as terribly as I did then.  Well, worse.  My lips couldn't handle more than 20 minutes of playing today.  It's okay, it's like my French language skills that sneak away from me from time to time and won't come back until I give a lot more TLC.  

So, I'm soaking my reed and hoping to play for another 20 minutes before picking it up for the night and then, I'll need to keep doing this on a pretty much daily basis if I am interested in trying out for the UCSC orchestra...which I just might be interested in.  Sure, there is always the community band that will take me if I fail to register notes in tenor clef, but those of you who would make that suggestion have clearly never played in a community band.  That merits its own blog post, so I won't go into that right now.  I do have stories of the Vienna, VA community band that I played in FOR A YEAR!

At any rate, the piece that I would like to audition with is the solo from Mozart's Concerto for Bassoon.  It might be too ambitious of a range.  But listen to how beautiful this is....and then, think about how horribly wrong this wide range of music could go when you aren't practiced (and then, have pity for me, because that is what I sounded like in public during my audition in 2010 and made me avoid the entire Katzen building for over a year).

DC Brau

This weekend "sun of my life" and I went to DC Brau Brewery with some friends to check out the place that has provided DC with its first local brew in many -- nearly 60 -- years!  The brewery is currently only open on Saturdays from 1-4 for tours and tastings.  And did I mention that the tour AND the tasting is FREE?!  A very nice incentive to visit.

What makes this place so special is the simple fact that it is a local business with a really good product.  Their beers are high quality brews that rival more well-known brands of beer on taste and quality.  I also like the fact that the brewery's slogan is "fermentation without representation," which is both a witty tag line, but also a real nod to their support of DC Statehood (which is outlined on their website).  The tour is informative and explains the beer making process and talks about the science of beer making...but I'll be honest that it was hard to pay attention with all of the sweat dripping down my back and legs because it was HOT.  Luckily we had some beer to cool us off afterward!

The brewery itself is hardly visible off of a stretch of Bladensburg Rd north of NY Ave right before the Maryland border.  The signage in the strip mall advertises every business in the strip with the same black Arial font against a white sign, so no particular business stands out.  DC Brau is listed second to last after USPS and the dry cleaner, so if you aren't looking REALLY hard for it, you will miss it.  When you enter the un-airconditioned warehouse, you show your ID and are handed four tasting tickets for you to use at your discretion.  My first taste was a thick, dark porter that had strong notes of coffee. All of the beers were good, but my favorite was the Citizen belgian white ale. It is not as thick as Blue Moon and has a light, crisp taste.  Perfect for 106 degree weather.

If you haven't visited the brewery yet, it is definitely worth a stop to celebrate a local business that provides us with much needed sustenance.  

Beasts of the Southern Wild

I liked so much about this film that it is hard to pinpoint the exact moments or elements that I liked most.  The film confronts issues of inequality, power and dominance head-on making the film political without being ideological.  It was unexpectedly funny with a sharp wit.  And importantly, this movie is funny without being cheap.  I find so many movies these days use cheap humor to get a laugh.  

It isn't billed as a comedy because it isn't comedy; it is a drama.  I would actually call the film magical realism in terms of genre.  Emotions and feeling are deeply intertwined with the universe and what is happening in Hush Puppy's emotional life is articulated in nature through explosive and catastrophic events.  The serious tone of the film is balanced with fable-like qualities, authenticity, and wit.  

This is really important when trying to tell a story about South Louisiana, a place that has experienced so much tragedy.  Yet, I have never heard anyone -- my family or friends included -- from home complain about disasters.  They lament destruction and willingly tell stories of loss, but it is always with a sense of resilience and nod toward the fact that it is all a natural part of life.  For example, two months after Katrina, around Halloween, when people who had returned to the city were tasked with disposing of their refrigerators they dressed them up before setting them outside for pick up and delivery to a local refrigerator graveyard...and then, people also proceeded to dress up like refrigerators for Halloween that year.  

That is the spirit of South Louisiana (not just New Orleans), and I was enormously entertained with this movie that managed to capture it so well.  Here is the trailer if you haven't seen it yet:

Resigned

I submitted my resignation at work today, and I couldn't feel more relieved.  My boss's response was different than anything I've ever received before.  No thank you for increasing fundraising 150% over the last year or any nod to my service.  Instead, it was just an awkward "well, we'll...well, it is what it is."  I chuckled and replied, "yes, it is."

Huh?!  Such an unexpected and fairly priceless response is exactly what I should have expected.  This is a moment in which I thank my lucky stars that academics don't give a sh*t about references from non-academic sources.  'Cause I definitely will not be leaving this job with a reference, and nor would I let the crazy people I've worked with on the supervisory level to attest to my character or capacity in any situation.  

It feels so good to submit a resignation.  Not because I felt like I stuck it to anybody or anything like that.  Clearly they will find someone who is less opinionated and less strong-willed than me to take my place since most of my struggles have been accusations that point toward insubordination.  It feels good because I no longer have to surrender myself to the purview of people that I do not respect and who clearly do not respect me.

Funny enough, the word resignation means to give up, abdicate, surrender, acquiesce.  I find that resigning in this day in age is actually quite the opposite.  The daily grind is a daily resignation of surrendering your time, responsibilities, and subjective judgement of your performance to a superior in the workplace whose assessment has great potential to be purely based on his/her perception rather than on a true understanding of one's abilities.  

Resignation to me feel like liberty and freedom.  The opposite of acquiesce is to go forward, and this is what resignation really feels like.  Forward momentum.

The Affect of Baseball

I've been thinking a lot about affect lately and right now, while I'm not in school and am simply reading for pleasure, I have some distance from theoretical material.  And yet, one of the reasons I love theory is NOT because it abstracts things, but because some theories examine the quotidien in a way that makes us understand the depths of the somewhat mundane and routine things that occur in everyday life. 

Today, I was thinking about the affective experience of baseball and the role of pop music at the game, in particular. The music cues up to tell the fans that it's time for BASEBALL by blaring songs like "I don't wanna lose your love tonight" and "My Sherona" to get people feeling good and in a festive spirit.  What is it about the power of pop music to do that?  It seems to me that even if you hate pop, you might get annoyed at best, but the music doesn't actually seem to generate a feeling dread from someone who just isn't into it.  That person may feel something more like disdain, but that is not as pervasive as feeling just plain horrible.  Sports and music certainly go hand in hand -- after all, pop stars know they've made it big when they play in athletic arenas and singers and athletes are known for hooking up, right?  David and Victoria Beckham are my example.  And now it seems like a common thing to host a concert after a baseball game included in the baseball ticket. 

Music has a unique power to convey emotion just like rhyme in poetry is used to make a poem expressive.  The German composer, Felix Mendelssohn said "even if, in one or other of them, I had a particular word or words in mind, I would not tell anyone, because the same word means different things to different people.  Only the song says the same thing, arouses the same feeling, in everyone -- a feeling that can't be expressed in words."  I find it fascinating to see this at play in a baseball stadium where up to 40,000 or so fans can be infused with a certain celebratory, festive spirit that flows forward onto the field that they are facing (while in the stands).  I also really enjoy that festive mood and it makes the baseball game far more enjoyable than if I didn't get to hear my standby favorites, of which, this still remains one of my favorites...(and doesn't this guy look a LOT like the guys from Tears for Fears????):

Getting Carded...

is something I am totally used to.  I don't think too much about sharing all of my personal information (address, birth date, weight, etc.) with strangers because I have been trained to do so for basically my entire life.   That's also because they only give it a quick glance or a long serious glance.  They don't document the information.

But I've been getting weirded out about getting carded at the drug store for Mucinex D, which I learned in April I should be taking fairly regularly to stave off the usual annual or biannual sinus infection(s) that I suffer from.  When I purchase Mucinex D, I have to preemptively think about it and go to the pharmacy while it is open because, as I'm sure you all know, it is behind the counter there.  Not only do they check your prescription, but they record all of your information and it takes longer than actually picking up a prescription.   

Yesterday, I started getting a little paranoid while the guy was taking forever to record my information, and I wondered if he was looking me up in some kind of national  pseudoephedrine database.  I was worried that maybe I haven't tracked how much of it I've purchased and that maybe I'm on some kind of watch list.  And then, I got all worried because I LOSE STUFF ALL THE TIME!  Like, all the time.  Can I not replace a packet of Mucinex D when I'm desperately in need?  Is it possible to at least get a prescription if it comes to that? 

As I started asking questions yesterday about what they were noting and why, the pharmacist told me I need to be sure that I don't surpass the limit for purchasing this stuff.  Well, what the heck is the limit?!  I've been doing my research to find out...and according to the info that I looked up on CMEA, it looks like the limit is 9 grams in a year, which at 60 mg a pill means I can basically purchase 150 pills in a year.  Is my math correct here (not a rhetorical question)? 

That means that I better only have allergies for half of the year because if I have to take more, I can't.  I got a little more paranoid as someone comically (but semi-seriously) mentioned a neighborhood as being meth-ridden in Santa Cruz...I don't want to raise any flags due to an increase in allergy purchases and a move to Santa Cruz, ya know.   

Anyway, I'm not sure how in the world I'm going to keep track of my purchases, but I figure I better find a way since I don't buy them all at a single location.  The last thing I need is to get arrested for something like that.  And let's be honest, I've had some extremely weird things happen to me that makes this possibility not seem like such a ridiculously farfetched idea.  And another thing I've learned is that when the government and I are in an argument, I usually tend to lose after prolonged impotent fist shaking.